noun
A SHEATH FOR WARMTH AND A COZY AESTHETIC
1. It would be easy to see the word “sweater” and assume it means “one who sweats”. This is not the case. And just as it is not an agent of sweat, it is not an instrument of sweat. For example, the intention of a freezer is to generate or maintain a freeze. But a sweater doesn’t hope to make one sweat.
2. Sweater, sweatshirt, sweatpants… Who determined the marketability of these things? Sweating is gross. It’s an important physiological function, but one is much more likely to hear “oooh, I would hug you, but I’m so sweaty,” as opposed to, “Bring it in, toots — I’ve got a slippery hug with your name on it.”
3. I tried to crochet a sweater once. It was the first time I had ever crocheted anything and I didn’t know how to do anything more than just the one stitch. My newly minted sweater ended up looking less like traditional clothing, and more like a tapeworm.
